The Weekly Review

Sowing the seeds of destruction
11.51AM  1-7-2011

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On the recently launched Sperm Donors Australia website (www.spermdonorsaustralia.com.au), an image of a beaming young man thrusts a confident thumbs-up towards the camera, accompanied by the words “Sperm donation: More fun than giving blood.”

He’s happy, website visitors might assume, because he’s giving the gift of life to at least one of those one-in-eight infertile couples that the website says need to rely on a sperm donor to “fulfill their dream of becoming a parent”.

He’s no doubt already clicked on the section aimed at men much like himself – men who might feel some connection with one of the 13 testimonials excerpts offered in answer to the heading: “Why donate?”.

Perhaps he saw the value in the altruistic message that sperm donation is “a way for me to help those in need”. Maybe he liked another reason. Maybe he felt the overwhelming urge to “leave at least a footprint on the earth when I pass away”.

Want to be a sperm donor? There’s a shortage of registered donors in Australia at the moment – what those in need would describe as a crisis, of sorts.

You can see evidence of it in the chat forums on the nation’s most popular parenting sites – internet pleas from people who are desirous of what seems like such a basic need. A right. The right to be a parent.

According to TangledWebs, a self-described “action group, challenging donor conception practices in Australia and internationally”, no one has the right to a child. To claim that right, the group says, “is to treat that child, another human being, as an end to satisfying one’s own desires, as an object and not as a person”.

When the findings of the Australian Senate inquiry into in vitro fertilisation donor-conception practices in Australia was handed down on February 10, among the issues addressing the rights of donor-conceived children was the recommendation that any nationally consistent legislation should include, at a minimum: A prohibition on donor anonymity; A limit on the number of families a donor is able to?assist; Rights of access by donor-conceived individuals to identifying and non-identifying information about their donor and siblings; and Protection for the welfare and interests of donor-conceived children.

When Melbourne IVF launched an online advertising campaign to encourage more men to donate sperm in early 2010, the tagline was: “A donation to us won’t save a life; hopefully it will create one”.

At the time, Dr John McBain, fertility specialist at Melbourne IVF and head of reproductive services at the Royal Women’s Hospital, said the decline in donors (in 2007 there were 2458 donor cycles; in 2008 there were 2390 donor cycles, which are the latest figures) was apparent, with the flow-on effects “devastating” for those wanting to become parents.

With current laws allowing single women and same-sex couples the right to fertility treatment, the demand for sperm in Australia is at an all-time high. But with many potential donors put off by the ramifications of contact with an 18-year old searching for their roots, lengthy waiting lists at fertility clinics across the country have inspired a growth industry in assisted population growth. In response, a new industry has been born.

Gold Coast mother Emma Hartnell-Baker has trademarked herself as The Child Listener and has Facebook fans and a steady stream of Twitter followers to her DIY Baby site that grew from an online community of “sperm donors worldwide”.

Think of it as a kind of dating site where egg can meet sperm – without the hassle of romance.

Following the Senate inquiry findings, just how much longer Hartnell-Baker will be able to operate in this way is unclear. At the moment, though, the business that is not technically called a business is booming and the site boasts of more than 2000 successful conceptions.
It is illegal, under current Australian law, for sperm donors to be paid for their offerings. At DIY Baby, while sperm donations are “free”, subscribers pay an initial monthly fee of $50, followed by ongoing monthly payments of $37.

The membership fee gives access to what the site claims is currently more than 3000 international donors, with more than 360 in Australia.

Arrangements are then made privately, helped along, perhaps, with the purchase of the handy “home self-insemination kit” for $135 (plus postage).

Sperm donation is, the site says, “the perfect gift”.

In a 2002 article, sex therapist and social commentator Bettina Arndt explored the notion that, lurking behind such a gift is a profound (and neglected) question: what value do we attach to fatherhood?

“If it’s just for producing sperm,” she wrote, “then men may be sowing the seeds of their own irrelevance.”

Across the country, a growing number of donor-conceived adults are turning to support groups to discuss their own feelings around that question … and?more.

Although it started life as a support service for those affected by adoption, Vanish (www.vanish.org.au) offers advice along with individual and group support to those affected by issues around donor conception. And, according to the experts at the heart of these gatherings – typically people with some personal understanding of what it is to lack the basic biological connection experienced by “traditional” families – the issues are, essentially, the same. Without that basic knowledge of genetic background, people raised by “social” parents, as opposed to “biological” ones, are left lacking, unable to relate their own personality idiosyncrasies, or physical appearance, or health concerns, to any historical link.

On one popular parenting website, posts from desperately infertile couples, same-sex couples and single women appeal to men to donate sperm. One, who says she is “not in a relationship”, gives her age as 23. Another, who says time is running out, says she is 28 and yet to find the right person.

“I am after a willing sperm donor with no strings attached,” she writes.

And I wonder if that’s what she will actually find.

» www.tangledwebsorg.wordpress.com
» www.diy-baby.com

 

Comments

Posted by Helen at 8.50AM  10-7-2011
I agree that commerical practices are sowing the seeds of destruction. Its why we found our donor through The Child Listener's site (FSDW) and when we read her facebook page. It opened our eyes. Before that we had not thought really about how who we chose could impact our child, we thought our love would be enough to overcome anything else. Emma showed us sensitively that this isnt the case. Our donor is involved in our child's life and every day we look at her we thank God we were able to look past the photos on commercial sites ike the one in this article SpermDonationsAustralia to see that donating sperm is only part of the story. Donors should read The Child Listeners articles, they would stop donating through commercial clinics. She is speaking out for kids that arent yet born.
Posted by Doug at 9.20AM  4-7-2011
The difference between SpermDonationsAustralia and free-sperm-donations.com is that the child born using an FSDW donor will get to know who their donor dad is. A point sorely missed in this article. If the authorities are in fact trying to close it down they would be stopping kids from knowing their biological fathers. They aren't offering that anywhere. Do they want a pat on the back for banning anonymous donations? Access to this basic information only at 18 is "destructive". As the article says, hundreds are wanting to donate through FSDW for no payment- and not SpermDonationsAustralia. Most intelligent men recognise which site actually puts the kids first. Thank God for The Child Listener, the only one who seems to be looking out for DC kids and avoiding destruction. I don't see the authorities heading up a campaign like hers - "Children deserve to know where they come from"; - how could they, they don't offer a way for children to do this. I for one would only ever donate through The Child Listeners site as she is the only one who speaks with any sense about this issue.
Posted by Janelle at 8.54AM  4-7-2011
We would never have used the new SpermDonorsAustralia website as it's just another commercial business that does not help children know about themselves. I've just seen this article as someone linked it to the facebook.com/DIYBaby page and had to speak out. Emma (The Child Listener) is changing the way people see sperm donation. We chose this site for that. I read about her after seeing her comments on various sites and her campaign for DC children and it opened our eyes as to how important it is that kids can get info about the donor . You can ONLY do that through a site like hers and not if you use a clinic. I hope this site (FSDW/ DIY Baby) never gets shut down, its the most supportive and child centred community I know. It's not just somewhere to find a donor. Our donor is more than sperm, hes the biological dad to our child and we are so lucky we didn't fall for the marketing crap shown on sites like SpermDonorsAustralia that do not show the impact on the child. Which is something Emma helped us understand from the moment we joined the site. We would have paid $37 a month just for the advice she gives. She's now writing short stories for parents to use with DC children, to start talking about their conception. And we get lots more things like that for free, even after being members. We would recommend ONLY using the FSDW site and even if you're not looking for a donor join her facebook page which sends us info about talking to our kids about their conception, and helps us understand the wider issues. She has a lot of loyal followers because of what shes doing not only for us but for our children. Shame on you Claire Halliday for not researching this properly. And Emma if you are reading this keep up the good work, we are behind you 100%.
Posted by Tom S at 8.21AM  4-7-2011
I am a donor with FSDW (the site cited as DIY Baby) I chose to donate through this site after reading articles by The Child Listener who only advocates sperm donation practices that allow for the child to have information about their origins. I am in touch with the couple I donated to and happy to answer any questions and to meet the child who is now 7 months, when and if he wants this. I also completed Emma's 'Donor Dad' questionnaire - sending info about my favourite subject at school, proudest moments, what inspires me etc. I didn't want to just produce sperm and not know who was going to be raising my biological child- and The Child Listeners site was the ONLY one that promotes this. I wanted to choose a couple who had the same outlook as me. It wasn't a no strings gift. She is amazing speaking out for children and you only have to actually visit the facebook page www.facebook.com.DIYBaby to see what shes is achieving, despite articles such as this which are misleading. To write this article without the facts is disturbing. Many of us are working with her to ensure that children can know where they come from. This is propaganda of the worst kind. Children matter - and she is a leading spokesperson about this.
Posted by June at 8.09AM  4-7-2011
What a misleading article! Emma Hartnell-Baker has the ONLY sperm donation connection site in the world that aims to ensure that the donor is in the life of the child from birth. She set it up as she does not agree with commercial sperm donation practices. She has created the Children Deserve to Know Where They Come From campaign and writes articles about children's rights. I am a fan of her facebook page - where every single posting and link is about meeting the needs of children when choosing a sperm donor. How can this author have got it so wrong. There are literally hundreds of sperm donation connections sites in the world- who allow for NI (sex) and for anonymous donations. So why highlight www.free-sperm-donations.com when discussing how poorly the rights of children are protected in assisted reproduction. Did the author read her article - on Ezine - about Choosing a sperm donor - where again she urges would-be parents to conside the child at all times? This is disappointing journalism - with a clear agenda. June
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