George with the Evoque si4 pure
GEORGE IERODIACONOU
The instructions from my editor were: pick up the Range Rover Evoque from Malvern, drive to Ten Minutes by Tractor, have a modest lunch and bring me back a couple of bottles of good pinot.
I said yes before realising Ten Minutes by Tractor is a restaurant/winery on the Mornington Peninsula that serves meals fit for a king and that Queen Elizabeth drives a Range Rover.
A six-course degustation was the furthest thing from my mind, but something happened when I was handed the keys to the Evoque.
As I approached the Malvern Range Rover dealership, my middle-aged, family man’s station wagon suddenly seemed very ordinary when compared to the undisputed king of the road in the 4X4 world.
I was also excited because finally I get to drive. The Weekly Review has sent me out to write about fast cars, planes and helicopters, but I am always the passenger, never the driver. This time it was my turn to shred and, after signing a $10,000 insurance access fee, the tactic was to take it easy.
Sales consultant Cameron Macmillan appeared and, like a magician, he opened the boot and wound down all the windows with a button held in his hand. Range Rover is the only car company that has developed the technology to do this.
“This is the Evoque,” he proudly said. “This is the car Prince Harry would drive, the Queen drives the Vogue. If you want armour plated, we can do that too.”
In the 4X4 world, Range Rover is considered the undisputed trailblazer. Up to 10 years ago it didn’t even make a sedan.
To make the Evoque, Range Rover hacked into its traditional chunky frame and made its car into a sporty and sexy beast that can transform into a mud-swallowing animal off road. The engine started and I wanted to go wild.
Macmillan was talking to me about airbags, kilowatts and the motor but all I could feel was the pull of this machine to the road.
“You’re not really paying attention, are you?” he asked.
“It happens all the time. People get in and all they want to do is drive.”
So, with wife and baby in the back seat, we were on EastLink bound for the Mornington Peninsula. On the freeway, 100km/h felt like 50km/h, and when the wailing and thrashing was over from baby Andy, darling wife and I were enjoying the sound of silence.
At the Red Hill exit I planted the foot and took the first two corners a little quicker than I normally would. The Evoque handled them well.
The word modest was the furthest thing from my mind when we arrived at Ten Minutes by Tractor. I was doomed to fail this modest lunch assignment.
The vineyards’ workers gave it the name because they need 10 minutes travel time in a tractor to get to the three family-owned wineries that now make up the estate.
In a moment of madness, we decided on the full degustation menu, which would never have happened if we had been in the station wagon. I blame the Evoque; it encourages extravagance.
It began like this: gazpacho, infused with basil from a bubbling dry-ice water feature.
“This is to awaken your palate,” said assistant manager Graham Kinsey.
Next was the tuna. Fortunately I’ve been to a couple of these things before, so the anxiety arising at the sight of my meal arriving on a tablespoon was comforted by the knowledge that my appetite would be full and satisfied by the end.
I wasn’t disappointed. The amuse-bouche was seared tuna, peppered strawberries, goat’s cheese and jamon (Spanish for cured ham). It was opposite to a flavour explosion and melted in the mouth. A gulp of pinot after that made me happy. My wife gulped the rosé and smiled. Yep, I was doing well.
My ego was being fed brilliantly by course after course of a colourful, delightful meal filled with flavour and texture. My wife was smiling and baby was still sleeping by the side of the table. Sporty wilderness man was exercising his sophisticated side among the vineyards at Ten Minutes by Tractor.
Scallops, barramundi and duck followed. I was in heaven. Baby was still sleeping.
“Our food is inspired by local produce, our chef is a genius and lovingly creates dishes that awaken and inspire,” Kinsey said. “I’m a sweet man, so I like the sweeter dishes: the wallaby, raspberry panna cotta and peanut satin tart.”
We were now on the road back to Melbourne when reality hit: the car had to go back.
Nick Cave’s The Boatman’s Call came on the radio and I was now sailing along the highway, king of the road again. There was not a car in sight that I would swap for the Evoque.
But I didn’t want it to be over. I wanted to cross rivers, crawl over rocks and get this baby churning through mud. The grass and the trees were calling me. I wanted to get it dirty and I wanted to take it to its driving limits.
Reality came crashing down as we got to Frankston, baby Andy was now agitated and cars were jammed ahead. A stifling aroma replaced the new-car smell and I had to make a nappy stop. The ride was nearly over.
I then realised I’d had a lunch fit for a king and driven in a car made for royalty. That’s not a bad Friday for a Weekly Review reporter. If Range Rover is the choice of car for the Queen, the Evoque is for the everyday man who wants to live like a king.
Test drive at www.ulr.com.au
Eat at www.tenminutesbytractor.com.au